- Gabrielle Blair is a New York Times bestselling author.
- The following is an adapted excerpt from her book “Ejaculate Responsibly.”
- She says that men can walk away from pregnancy that is the result of careless ejaculation.
The following is an adapted extract from Gabrielle Blair’s book “Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Contraception.”
If a person vomits recklessly and causes an unwanted pregnancy, there is no consequence. He can walk away at any moment, and our current culture doesn’t do much – or anything? – to encourage.
It all depends on the woman
If a woman wants to take Plan B to prevent pregnancy, it is up to the woman to buy and pay for it – from her own money, or by asking for money from someone else.
If a woman decides to have an abortion, the man may not know that he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his careless ejaculation – and he still has the woman to prepare and pay to get one (again, from her own money, or by asking for money from someone else – and that’s assuming she gets herself to a state where it’s legal).
If a woman decides to raise the child but does not tell the man, or gives the child up for adoption, he may not know that a child is now walking around with 50% of the DNA his
If the woman tells the man that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and she has the child, the closest thing to the outcome for him is that he may have to pay child support. But it is known that our current child support system is a joke.
Men are responsible for almost all child support
Men make up 85% of child support providers, and only 43.5% of parents report receiving the full amount of child support they are owed. And there are approximately $10 billion in uncollected child support payments each year. In cases where men don’t pay to support a child, theoretically, women have legal recourse and can force a man to pay child support, but, again, the system makes it very difficult. It is the mother’s responsibility to pay for proving paternity, pay a lawyer, and fight for child support in court.
Keep in mind that these court battles are unreasonably difficult to manage for someone who has had a baby – a baby they are trying to feed and care for. And in the end, even if she puts in the time and pays the years of legal fees, most women don’t collect all the money anyway. If she manages to collect, the average child support order is $400 a month, which isn’t even close to what it takes to house and clothe and feed and educate a child—to say nothing of the temporal, emotional, and physical costs. have raised a child.
Our society is set up to protect men from the consequences of their own actions. We could not design our laws and policies better to protect men who abandon the pregnancies they cause.
I had a conversation with a longtime social worker about this, and she listed eight ways that men are not affected and are not responsible for their ejaculatory actions.
1) There are no laws requiring a father to pay child support without a court order. It is not automatic.
2) In many states, credit scores are not affected by failure to pay child support.
3) Amendments are not fired from their jobs for introducing a woman.
4) Fathers are not paid for any medical expenses for the pregnancy or the child. In at least two states, fathers can be legally required to pay for at least 50% of pregnancy-related medical expenses.
5) Fathers do not have to take unpaid weeks or months off work for pregnancy complications or childbirth.
6) Fathers do not lose a cent in their salary for piercing a woman.
7) Fathers usually do not have to pay any funeral expenses for a deceased child. At least two states consider it the responsibility of both parents to pay.
8) If fathers choose to walk out at any time – before or after the child is born – there are no social consequences for abandoning the child.
There are very few consequences to jump out at. Therefore, many men continue, causing unwanted pregnancies with careless ejaculations and without giving it a thought. When the subject of abortion comes up, they may think: Abortion makes me uncomfortable. Women should not choose abortion. And they never consider the one who caused the unwanted pregnancy.
Excerpted from “Ejaculate Responsibly: A Total New Way to Think About Abortion” by Gabrielle Blair. Employee Disclosure © 2022.