Portugal Is Still All About Ronaldo, Even When It Shouldn’t Be

It’s almost time for the World Cup 2022. To help you get ready, we’re going to provide you with valuable information about every team in the tournament. You can read all our World Cup coverage here.


OK, let’s cut the nonsense here and get to the point. It is not about Portugal. It’s about Cristiano Ronaldo, who made everything around him a grand new way when he waited until the half-time break to have a shot at his entire Manchester United experience, expressing despair at the size of the headlines. of the tabloids, “(Erik Ten Hag) Has Betrayed Me.” At a time when the national team should be the center of his public expression, he has deliberately and with premeditated malice decided to roll a fragmentation grenade under the throne of the most boring home team on earth. It’s “Look at me, damn it!” on a level Kyrie Irving can only imagine.

As it affects Seleção das Quinasit just means that now it is Seleção das Ronaldo, as Ronaldo will be in the spotlight even more on this monotheistic side than he would be under normal circumstances. He’ll be the only player anyone will watch, talk about, refer to or think about, which will be kind of a drag because this is a team of people worth watching when the face of Ronaldo’s mascot, Hello Kitty, dominates the screen. His years-long rivalry with Lionel Messi over who is the greatest player on planet number three will never end, but people taking his side of the argument are now considerably fewer. Since that’s all he really cares about (he’d like Portugal to win the World Cup, but mostly so he can send a new middle finger to United, one that doesn’t require reptilian intervention Piers Morgan), he will play hard. However, he won’t be nearly the player he once was and will require endless service doing only some of what these requirements require.

In other words, he will be much less pleasant to watch than we are used to. The luscious Ronaldo is not something anyone should be looking forward to, even though his side are the presumptive favorites in Group H, which has its own ghosts for the Portuguese. Fellow H, South Korea, Ghana and Uruguay were Portugal’s last opponents at the 2002, 2014 and 2018 World Cups respectively, and Selection fell deeply short in each. If he can make United miserable, sure, but we’re not betting on that.

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Who is their main son?

Not paying attention, I see it. It’s right there in the chart above, you flannel-faced scumbag.

Who is their main scoring guy?

Yes, maybe it is him, but in fairness it should probably be Bernardo Silva, part of Manchester City Planet Eaters.

Silva has become more of an orchestrator from the right-back than he used to be, though, and although he’s excellent at it, much of that orchestration is likely to go to Ronaldo, who doesn’t build momentum. his as he used. to. Without Diogo Jota or Pedro Neto out of the squad with injuries, more of the onus is likely to fall on Ronaldo’s former team-mate (at the same time because the bet is that Ronaldo has withdrawn from his latest Manchester United assignment) Bruno Fernandes , but one doubts this burden. it won’t fall on him because Ronaldo will become even more heliocentric than he already is, which is almost mind-boggling to imagine. So yes, it’s the same answer again, and yes, maybe it shouldn’t be. Honestly, when everything shakes out, as it inevitably does, it can be . . . well, check out the teaser below.

Where’s the Veal?

Which teams or players does Portugal dislike? Do Portugal players like each other? We investigate their potential enemies.

The Portuguese have reason to hate everyone in the group given their shared history, and god knows the Portuguese will enjoy Spain’s affairs (excellent midfield, a little questionable at both ends of the pitch), but in it really hasn’t had a historical enemy since it gave up its dreams of empire a century ago. Portugal minds its own business for the most part, leading continental European defenses in case the Azores revolt against the mother country and lead an invasion eastward.

There is always the possibility of internal strife given Ronaldo’s agenda, and manager Fernando Santos is widely regarded as having done too little, meaning they could end up hated by their fans, but the Portuguese are generally peaceful. familiar types of friends. In other words, if you buy one of them a drink, they’ll buy you one.

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More likely to go David Ospina or James Rodríguez Mode

Who is Portugal’s best candidate for a breakthrough performance that lands them a career-changing transfer? Could this potential transfer go well after the tournament, like when Colombia’s James Rodríguez went to Real Madrid after playing at the 2014 World Cup? Or could it go wrong, like when Colombia’s David Ospina went to Arsenal after playing at the 2014 World Cup?

Rafael Leão, the Milan left-back who works across the road from Silva, is becoming the Portuguese’s most exciting youngster. This is a squad with household names everywhere (we’d be remiss to mention João Cancelo, Nuno Mendes and Rúben Dias in the back line), so Leão looks like the best choice for the buy/sell game. He’s a great dribbler and has a knack for rooting up workable shots from awkward angles, so it would have been fair to list him as the best scoring option if one were allowed in this team . He is being targeted by several Premier League sides, including Chelsea and both Manchesters, and if he asks nicely, Ronaldo is sure to give Man City a glowing recommendation – assuming he either still hates Manchester United or hates Leão, in which case he can think of There is no greater punishment than handing him a run at Old Trafford.

David Ospina Mode Probability Score: 59.5

James Rodríguez Mode Probability Score: 21.

Fun geographic fact

As the second of two countries on the Iberian Peninsula, Portugal has either the sea or the Spanish as neighbors – there’s no clear indication that they care much for Andorra one way or the other. But the Portuguese were the first Europeans to discover Japan, or rather, the first Europeans to discover Japan. It also has the oldest bookstore in the world, and Lisbon is at least 400 years older than Rome, which may explain why Barnes and Noble colonized it instead of Italy.

Good or bad flag?

Flag of Portugal.

There’s a lot going on here, like the sphere of arms and the five shields with the points that are supposed to represent the five wounds of Christ, but for you less church-goers it might as well represent Yahtzee.. It comes off quite well, although the coolest part of the whole ensemble is the castle set, especially the two castles tilted at 45 degree angles, presumably to celebrate the fortifications built on the pudding fields. Verdict: Good.

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Good or bad anthem?

A Portuguese it’s a pretty standard hymn as these things go, which is too bad given the fact that fado is more rhythmic and therefore more danceable. Then again, your anthem will be a little bleak when the lyrics include phrases like “Against the balls, march, march,” which is probably the worst advice you can give someone. “Against the cannons, run to safety, you stupid bastards!” it would be a significant improvement. Entry and exit points in 95 seconds.

Important moment in the history of the World Cup

Eusébio’s brilliance at the 1966 World Cup gave the Portuguese their best ever finish, a semi-final run which ended when they lost to the hosts England 2–1. Until Ronaldo, it was generally agreed that Eusébio, who scored nine goals in that tournament, was the best Portuguese player ever.

It should be noted here that the Jules Rimet Trophy for winning the championship had been stolen months earlier and was only found a few months before the event, wrapped in a newspaper and thrown into a bush to be found by a brave dog named Pickles . It is not known what Pickles did to the trophy before the humans showed up.

How can they win the World Cup?

Three routes are available here. One, we all have Ronaldo’s sell-by date wrong and that is 26-year-old Ronaldo with all his creativity, power and new legs for an extra month before he was sent to Millwall for free in the transfer window. Second, the rest of the team creates its own cohesive standard and finally adds up to the sum of its parts, winning the group, then beating Serbia, Belgium, England and in the final… Qatar. Trust us here, the fix is ​​open.

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